Are you feeling lonely or lacking support?


"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with."
Wayne Dyer



Feeling lonely is largely created by your own perception of not being connected to the people around you. The great thing about this perception is that it can be changed.

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Do you ever feel empty and alone, sometimes even when you're surrounded by people? Do you feel misunderstood by those around you and yearn for someone who can reach out to you and touch your heart? If so, then you're not unusual: many thousands of women feel exactly the same way.

People feel lonely for a number of reasons, such as not having enough friends, not knowing how to be close to the people you know, or simply because being lonely is part of the human condition. Here's how to cope with loneliness when it comes your way.

Steps
1.Realize that we all get lonely. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or that you have to stay lonely. We're particularly prone to loneliness when we're making transitions, especially for the better. If you're changing, such as exploring new alternatives and paths for yourself, you're bound to get a little lonely as you look for people who share your new interests and thoughts.

2.Call or get together with the people you know, even if they aren't who you want to be with right now. Human contact makes more contact easier. This includes your mother and the guy at the deli counter. Talk until the feeling eases. Make as many calls as necessary.

3.Get involved in anything where you will meet people. If you are very shy, find a group for social anxiety, even if it has to be online (obviously it's better if it's not). Look on places like Craig's List for activities in your area. Volunteering can help.

4.Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships whenever you can. YOU ask the person if they want to chat, get a coffee, whatever. Remember how much you like it when people are attracted to you.

5.Take risks about revealing yourself. Say what's on your mind, if it seems at all likely the other person will be receptive. It can hurt when it backfires, but it's worth it a million times over when it works out.

6.Remember that we are all alone inside our heads; we are born and die alone; it's nothing special. Every person who has ever lived has been lonely. Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it. Look at your loneliness with detachment.

7.Notice the difference between loneliness and solitude. Imagine this is the last day you will ever be alone. What would you do?

8.Join an online community, sometimes, it can help.

9.When feeling lonely, don't allow yourself to bask in your loneliness. Do something, anything! Take a walk, ride your bike.

10.Be happy. Live a life of optimism. Happiness comes from within regardless of your situation, so don’t use any excuses, such as being alone.

11.Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back.

Tips

Following your instincts about people can be important here. Just because someone is around/near you, doesn't mean they are good (vs. bad) company. Sometimes being alone is better than being in bad company.
•Set up social activities when you're not feeling lonely. Anticipate.
•Learn to meditate so that you have the experience of being loved and nurtured emotionally by other sources than human beings.
•Consider getting a pet! Animals can make marvelous companions; they give unconditional love, and can offer you loyal company. Walking a dog can also be a great way of meeting other people!
Resources accredited: http://www.wikihow.com/


"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with."
Wayne Dyer

3 comments:

Kimmy said...

Good Morning! I think I have lost more friends for "Speaking my mind", but you are so right! When it works it is worth so much. Love the pic you put with this post!

August 30, 2008 at 6:28 AM
Christine said...

Good Morning Kimmy! Hope this find you well. Nice to see you again:)

I can so appreciate that, about "Speaking my mind"... I have lost a lot as well - being a Women that speaks truth! I have question if the people we loose are truly friends to begin with or mere acquaintances-crossing our path in life, for our own lesson.

My hubby at times calls me brutally honest (and he's British...LOL) I know... that this statement is untrue because I am not unkind - it's just people don't want to hear the truth (sometimes it hurts).

Thank you for the post! Have a grand week-end :)

Cheers!
Christine :)

ps. I love that pic as well :)

August 30, 2008 at 9:47 AM
Cheeses of Nazareth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. September 4, 2008 at 4:00 PM
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