Every woman in the country is socialized to act like a doormat. It doesn't have to be that way! There is a way to learn to say "No," and that even the biggest doormat can change her ways. Here's some advice to cure the disease to please.

Find time for yourself.

Schedule time away from your job, your partner and your children. Use this opportunity to tune in to what you want and need. Don't feel that you're being selfish; you have a responsibility to yourself to take care of your needs.

Buy time
The next time you're asked to do something, don't answer right away. Say, "Let me think about it" or "I have to take care of something right now. I'll call you back and let you know." This will give you time to evaluate the situation and decide if it's something you truly want to do.

Practice saying "No."
For many women, saying "No" doesn't come naturally. But practice makes perfect, so start now! In choosing your responses, remember the K.I.S.S. principle: Keep It Short and Simple. You can try it in the mirror, or even walk around the house saying it. Get used to hearing yourself say the word, and then you'll be ready to use it with other people!

Finding yourself is not about what you add to your life, it's about what you take away. You need to create an “Absolute Yes List,” Once you have created your list, the top priorities in your life, it becomes easier to identify those things that you'll need to let go. Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it's important to remember that each time you say yes to someone or something else, you say no to you and your priorities. If saying no is difficult (especially to family members), then make sure you speak to your partner for support before and after you decline a request.

As life coach let me explain, your self-care is always a valid excuse to say no. Don't over-explain or defend your decision. Be graceful and honest. You might say something like: "I'm sorry, but it's just not possible for me to do that," or, "I'll have to decline but thank you anyway."


gLoR!e said...

I strongly agree this...sometimes, i have the hesitant to say no and i end up trouble with some of the other things needed attention. It is good to practice it!:)

September 13, 2008 at 8:14 AM
Kimmy said...

I can't agree enough. Even at work, I tend to take care of things just to avoid conflict. I justify being a doormat at times, by telling myself that I am doing it in the best interest of keeping the peace. When it comes to home and family, I am a little bit stronger willed!! Great POST, (as usual) :-)

September 13, 2008 at 6:29 PM
raquel roysdon said...

Very good article thanks for sharing with us.

September 14, 2008 at 9:52 AM
Post a Comment